Fake It Until You Make It Part Deux

Tips for appearing to know what you are doing.

1. Stop looking at the neck. I seek out someone in the audience to make eye contact..."He's playing to me!" Or close your eyes altogether.

2. Dress the part. Punk means no shirt and tie. By the same token, unless you are in a dirt band, dress up a bit. Looking good adds, does not take away.

3. If you fvck up big time, laugh.

4. Talk to the audience while tuning. Good anecdote time, especially if it segues into the next song.

5. "I meant to do that." is part of your repertoire. Be a cat.

6. Don't blow through people after you leave the stage. Many of not most come for the meet and greet afterwards.

7. Sloppy drunk or high is bad, mkay? A nice buzz is great. Enhances your interactions. Falling asleep on stage is really bad.

8. As part of #7 - eat before you drink before you go onstage. No burritos, nice and light but enough to mitigate what lies ahead. 

9. If you introduce me to your mom with the words, "You two have a lot in common," you are so off the list.

10. Share with anyone in the venue that has a direct impact on your sound - sound guy, lighting, the girl bringing you drinks...all of them.

11. Really, stop looking at the neck.