Sideman

In 2010 I was one of two names in the bands with which I was associated. More than one hundred gigs that way.
2011 dawned and I started playing backup for people who couldn't make the gig for one reason or another. I acquired a mandolin and that added a new dimension.  But my writing and composing had slowed down. I found myself working on technique.

While it is never too late to learn something new I had lost faith in my core abilities and wanted to fulfill those perceived shortcomings.

I think watching Jimmy Vivino had a lot to do with cementing that mindset. While I could do a couple of things better than he I was lacking in many others. Trying to expand the repertoire is fine, punishing yourself for what you studied is foolish.
I was neglecting what I did well. We should always play to our strengths.

I took a step back and examined what I was trying to achieve. I want a musical career, rather than a hobby that supplements my nine to five.
How was embarking on an entirely new tack going to accomplish this? It wouldn't - it would adds years to the learning curve. I don't have the time to waste.

2012 and the gigs I have had have all been sideman jobs with one exception. A message?

I thought to return to my "roots" and expand in any way that can be immediately felt and used while learning new things at the same time. But to prioritize and focus on my core.

I think, more than anything I am someone's sideman or an entertainer.
I will think on this, but not too long.